


The Motives of Clocks and Angels

by whereareyoucas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Apocalypse, Boyfriends, F/M, Flashbacks, M/M, Time Travel, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:58:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereareyoucas/pseuds/whereareyoucas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is a time travelling angelic being, doomed to save the world over and over again. Can Dean help him with his fate? <br/>Warning: angsty, bit gory, sad stuff</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Second Gods

**Author's Note:**

> please take note of the year, or it could get unnecessarily confusing, thankyou for reading!

**Newspaper clipping from 12th January 1990:**

**Today, it was revealed that an infant with wings was discovered in Pontiac, Illinois on Tuesday. The baby, who is thought to be one week old, had been abandoned in a bundle of blankets on a seemingly random doorstep. After extensive research and tests, the identity of the boys birth parents are still unknown, along with the reasons and consequences behind the unique mutation.**

**Aside from the wings that are fused to his shoulder blades, similar in shape and colour to that of a raven, the baby appears to be healthy and normal, and so health officials had no other option but to give the child to social services. Dr. Erickson explained that it would’ve been a breach of rights to keep the child any longer, without just cause. However he did go on record to say that if the infant ever showed signs of other anomalies, he would have to be taken in for further testing, as a matter of security.**

**The only explanation doctors can offer is that it’s a rare mutation. However, this explanation hasn’t seemed to satisfy some members of the public. There have been many different theories: Agatha May, 57 called it an act of God, while Abdul Singh, 25 has named it the next step in human evolution. Some people are even going so far as to say that this baby is an abomination to the human race, and it marks the coming end of life on Earth as we know it.**

**We spoke to Robert Singer, the mechanic and owner of Singer Salvage who found the baby on his doorstep and has now began the process of adopting him with his wife, Ellen. “He’s going to have a normal life. Just because he has wings, don’t mean he doesn’t deserve to be loved,” Singer said.**

**What will become of this winged boy? Only time can tell.**

  
  


-Year: 2021-

Sam crouched down, reloading his gun as fast as his blood stained hands could cope. A sharp blow to the head knocked him onto his side, and his vision went black for a few seconds.

“Sammy! You son of a bi-“ Dean’s voice was lost behind the sound of a shot being fired. Sam winced as the noise rang painfully through skull. A booted toe nudged him in the side as another shot was fired.

“You ok? There’s still at least five of them left, I’d appreciate some help.” Another shot and a curse.

The younger Winchester rubbed his head, his hand coming away with blood. But he didn’t have time to worry about that now. He got back to work on reloading his gun, and staggered up just in time to take out another one.

“Take that you genetically engineered bitch,” Dean said, ganking another one. After a few more shots and scuffling, the last of the creatures was dropped. Immediately, Dean turned to look at his brother’s head wound. He had to drag the tall man down by his shoulders to get a good enough look.

“Don’t go to sleep for a few hours,” Dean said evaluatively, releasing his grip.

“Thanks,” Sam said sarcastically, as if he didn’t know how to deal with a mild concussion. “How come they were so easy to gun down?”

“I guess they must’ve been rogue mistakes, accidents whatever. Still got the jump on you though, getting slow in your old age, Sammy.”

Sam nodded in response, completely disregarding the insult. Dean was just trying to lighten the mood, so that he wouldn’t have to focus on the fact that there had been a lot of rogue mistakes recently. The thought made Sam’s insides go cold. It meant the Second Gods were working on something new. He’d have to mention it to the team when they got back to the camp.

After checking the coast was clear, the Winchesters continued down the path. They were in the middle of what could barely be called a forest. The thinly spaced out tree trunks the same shade of grey as the dusty ground. The bleak forest stretched on for miles, meaning that whichever direction you looked, it would just be endless grey. It could turn someone insane. Even the river they were following was grey, the water reflecting the colour of its surroundings forlornly.

“How do we even know he’s going to be there?” Sam said finally, breaking the tense silence they’d been walking in for ten minutes.

“He has to be, or we’re screwed,” Dean answered plainly.

Sam let out an exasperated breath. Dean had always got along on hope and faith but Sam needed more. He needed plans, he needed knowledge. But he knew he wasn’t going to get anything more out of Dean. He could read his brother easily after all the years they’ve spent living and fighting by each other’s side and he recognised the particular look he was wearing on his countenance. Dean was nervous with a sprinkling of quiet excitement, and he definitely didn’t want to be talking about the chance that this could fail. Not now. This was their last hope.

Finally, after walking for an almost immeasurable amount of time, they reached what they were looking for. In front of them stood a small, simple log cabin, made of grey wood. Oddly, there were no windows. Just one big door. The door was shut.

With only a moments hesitation, Dean knocked on the door and entered, Sam close behind. Inside it was dark, aside from the rectangle of grey light falling from the door. The tactical disadvantage automatically sent the Winchesters into survival mode, grabbing their weapons, wary of what could be hiding in the shadows. There was the sound of movement.

“Hello, Dean.”

 

-Year: 2001-

_He was stood with his back to the metal green bars separating the elementary school children from the rest of the world. It’s where he stood every break time, alone. He stared blankly as a group of girls passed by him laughing nervously and pointing at him. Sure, they’d pretend they weren’t afraid of him to their friends, but if he made one movement towards them, they’d flee like a flock of pigeons. Funny, seeing as he was the one with the feathers. Unexpectedly, in the midst of his bitter thoughts, he felt something touching his wing. He swivelled round to see a boy he recognised from his class stroking the long feathers gently._

_“Hey. I like your wings.”_

_Castiel tilted his head in confusion. His peers usually feared his wings, or just despised them. They symbolised the great unknown to the other children and undoubtedly their parents. No one had ever outright said they liked his wings. Even his parents, even Castiel himself hated the wings that barred him from ever having a normal life._

_“Don’t worry about the other kids laughing at you. They’re just bullies,” he continued, still happily stroking the feathers._

_“They’re not in the wrong to laugh at me. I’m not normal.”_

_“Nobody’s normal, that doesn’t give them the right!” the child said fiercely, hands flying away from the wings to clench his fists. Castiel gave him another curious look. Large jade eyes looked back at him, a light blush almost hiding the smatter of freckles across his nose._

_“Why aren’t you scared of me?” Cas asked. He hoped he didn’t sound too threatening, or hostile. He just wasn’t accustomed to this attitude from a stranger._

_“You’re not scary. You’re like an angel. And angels are good. My mom says so.”_

_“I’m not an angel.”_

_“No, but you’re like an angel.”_

_The winged boy looked at him blankly._

_“I’m Dean.”_

_“I’m Castiel,” he said after some hesitation. “How come you aren’t playing with your friends?” he still was a bit bewildered that someone was voluntarily chatting with him in the playground._

_“I um... don’t have any friends really. I just hang out with my brother and his friends mostly, but Sammy’s on a school trip today... so yeah,” Dean trailed off shyly. He resumed his stroking of Castiel’s wing, like it was a reassurance._

_The two eleven year olds looked down, struck by an awkward silence. Finally Castiel broke it._

_“Would you like to be my friend, Dean?”_

_“Yeah, okay.”_

 

-Year: 2021-

Dean’s hand released his weapon when he heard the voice, where Sam’s tightened. The owner of the voice stepped forward into the weak light filtering from the open door. He was wearing a ratty trench coat, and he had piercing blue eyes. But his eyes were definitely not his most shocking feature by far. Sprouting from the man’s shoulder blades was a pair of magnificent, ebony wings. The feathers settled as the wings twitched slightly.

“Cas,” Dean greeted, a weird mix of stiffness and familiarity twisting his tone, “we need your help.”

“No,” the man said without hesitation. Sam glanced between the two of them in confusion before finally making a contribution.

“How exactly can he help us again?”

The two men looked at him, as if they’d forgotten his presence. Sam knew the two had been friends once, but the looks they were giving each other insinuated they had a lot of history. He tried not to think about it, and keep his mind on task. Finally, after it became obvious that Castiel wasn’t going to explain, Dean spoke.

“He can travel in time, Sam. He can go back, and stop this stupid fucking war from ever-“ he was cut off by Cas’ dangerously quiet voice.

“No, I can’t Dean. Please, leave.”

“But-“

“Dean.” Cas said menacingly.

“You-“ Cas’ patience snapped.

“No! Get out,” he boomed, the air prickling with rage. His wings unfolded and swiftly encompassed most of the small room, quivering with emotion. His expression darkened as he advanced on the brothers, going in to attack.

Sam saw the threat and his instincts set in. They were outgunned, this guy could rip them to shreds without even trying, and he wasn’t even sure if guns and knives worked on him, so their only chance was to escape. His brother was just stood there, wide-eyed, so Sam grabbed him by the sleeve and hauled him out of the small cabin, and then kept dragging him, till they were far away from it.

“What was that man, you just froze?” Sam barked, turning in on his older brother.

Dean visibly shook himself, before looking defiantly into Sam’s eyes. “He wasn’t going to attack, he was just showing off.”

“How come you let me drag you out then?”

Dean glared in response, and then started making their way home.

Once back at the camp, around fifteen people were waiting for them. They circled the brother’s, eager for good news.

“I’m afraid he didn’t go for it,” Sam said shaking his head gravely.

There was a horrified sound from the small crowd. Sam watched Dean walk away without saying a word. The slope of his hunched shoulders worried Sam, but he didn’t have time to go after him at the moment. He had to deal with their small troop.

“What are we going to do when they come then?” a red-headed girl asked from the crowd, trying not to show her nerves.

“We’re gunna have to fight.”

She looked back nervously. And she was right to be nervous. They were doing badly. Ten of the seventeen members of their troop were injured, some of them badly, and they were low on ammunition. Their chances of surviving the next attack were low, and that’s not even taking into account the signs of new, more advanced creatures. Sam looked at the survivors. They looked so worn down, and their eyes looked half empty, like they’d lost all hope. He looked at Charlie, the girl who had spoken. She was young and very bright, and had adapted to this apocalyptic world quickly and adeptly. She was one of their best shooters. She could’ve done anything her heart desired before the world started ending, and now she’s doomed like the rest of them. Sam sighed, rubbing his face. He really didn’t feel giving a pep talk right now, but he honestly had no other option, with the crestfallen and scared eyes on him.

“Look, it’s going to be alright,” he began, but he could hear the defeat in his voice himself.

 

*-*-*

It was just beginning to get dark when Dean found the log cabin again, the sun just beginning it’s embrace of the horizon. He’d snuck out while everyone was having their rations, after the most hopeless strategy meeting they’d ever had. He hated that crappy dog food anyway. By now someone had surely noticed he was gone, and had probably told Sam, but he really couldn’t force himself to care. He knew that if he’d have told Sam where he was going, he would’ve tried to persuade him otherwise. Sam didn’t know what he was talking about. And anyway, it’s not like there’s anything to lose anymore.

Just like last time, he knocked on the door as he entered the cabin, greeted by the familiar voice, much calmer than before.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Don’t ‘hello, Dean’ me, like we’re good friends,” Dean started immediately. He couldn’t keep the emotion out of his voice. “I haven’t seen you in over ten years, and now you’re leaving the whole human race to perish,” he spat, with a rough edge to his voice.

Cas didn’t respond. Instead he just trained his eyes on the ground, as if he felt guilty.

“What happened, Cas?”

The silence sucked at Dean’s anger as seconds passed, till it was just desperation left.

“Why did you stop coming back?”

 

-Year: 2002-

_“Hey Bobby, can Cas come out?” Dean asked eagerly._

_As Bobby was about to lean back and call for Cas, speak of the devil, the child wormed his way out from behind the older man to stand next to Dean._

_“Ok, don’t go getting into trouble. Be home before it gets dark. Oh, and Dean, say hi to your Dad for me, I’ll be seeing him this weekend for our fishing trip.”_

_“Sure thing Bobby, see ya round,” Dean waved._

_“Bye, Dad,” Cas called, as the two young boys started running off down the road. Bobby shook his head, fondly. It was so nice seeing Cas run around like a normal child, and Bobby had to bite his lip to stop from laughing as he watched his son trip over his own wing in eagerness to run down the road with his best friend._

_Idgit, he thought, and went back inside._

_*-*-*_

_“So you are an angel!” a triumphant Dean almost squealed as Cas landed from his flight around the old graveyard they were stood in. They’d found this place while hiking through a forest, and they’d decided it was perfect. It was surrounded on all sides by tall trees, and was completely deserted, so Cas could fly around without anyone seeing._

_“No,” he replied definitely._

_“How come you don’t just fly everywhere?” Dean asked, ignoring Cas’ previous response, and edging closer to him so he could stroke the feathers on his wing. Over time, Dean had developed a habit of smoothing down Cas’ feathers while talking to him. Cas didn’t mind though; in fact, he kind of liked it._

_“My parents told me not to let anyone know about my powers. I’m already an outcast for having wings, let alone being able to use them. They said that if people found out about it, they’d take me away.”_

_“This is so awesome.”_

_“You’re strange.”_

_“Says you! What other powers do you have?”_

_Castiel looked away, unsure._

_“Come on, you can tell me, I promise I won’t ever tell anyone ever.”_

_“Well... I’m super strong.”_

_“Oh my god! I get it now, you’re not an angel, you’re a superhero!”_

_Cas rolled his eyes at how excited Dean looked. Suddenly, he turned serious and placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder._

_“With great power, comes great responsibility.”_

_“I think I’m more of a superman than a spider man,” Cas said indignantly._

_“But the superman films are lame.”_

_Cas sighed._

_“Have you got any other powers?” the young boy probed._

_“Yeah… it’s not as cool as the other ones but I can show people my memories if I’m touching them,” Castiel said._

_“That is just as cool as the other ones!” Dean exclaimed, and Cas wasn’t sure if Dean was being honest, or if he was just trying to be a good friend by acting impressed at all of Cas’ talents. “Can you show me a memory?”_

_Castiel thought about it for a second, and then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Dean in a contact-ful hug. He then shared with Dean the memory of when Cas had first invited Dean round for dinner, and Bobby and Ellen were so happy that they ordered in pizza, and let them stay up late. It was a very happy memory for Cas._

_Cas stepped back once he’d finished playing his memory, and watched Dean duck his head, attempting to hide his shy smile._

_“Is that all your powers then?” Dean finally asked, filling the silence that had spread._

_Here, Castiel looked more unsure of himself than ever, biting his lip. “Come on,” Dean urged, realising that Castiel was considering keeping this last power secret._

_“Um… I can… I can time travel.” This had been the most difficult confession for Cas. Ellen and Bobby allowed Cas to use his other powers around the house and when he wasn’t in danger of being found out, but they’d forbidden him from ever using his time travelling ability. They’d discovered this power when a future Cas had ran into the room to warn the present Cas of the pop quiz that was going to be in school the next day. His parents had been very freaked out by the incident, and then told Cas that he could never use that power again. They told him that it was a bad idea, that could upset the universe, and that he’d understand when he was older. Although curious and tempted to disobey, Castiel didn’t want to disappoint his parents._

_“No. Way.”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Dude, that is beyond awesome! Time travel!”_

_Dean gazed fondly at his friend, who looked slightly uncomfortable with all the attention he was receiving, but Dean didn’t care. Superheroes were real! Cas could save people, kill the bad guys, stop suffering. And not even superman could time travel. This was big. Dean’s mind wandered randomly to their history assignment for the weekend on World War 2._

_“Hey,” Dean said, after thinking for a few minutes, “you could kill Hitler.”_

_“What!?”_

_“Think about it. He killed all those people. He was evil, everyone agrees. You could go back in time and kill him, before he kills all those other people. If you think about it, it’s the right thing to do. You could save so many people.”_

_Cas gazed at his friend, seeming to think carefully about what had just been said._

_“My parents... they would be disappointed if I disobeyed them. They’ve forbid me from time travelling.”_

_“How could they be disappointed!? You’d be a hero!”_

_It looked like Cas had been persuaded. Cas couldn’t actually imagine anyone telling him off for killing Hitler- you couldn’t be told off for saving lives. Energy crackled through the air without warning. Darkness crept out from the centre of Cas, seeping out until the blackness completely encompassed him, and then he was gone._

_After waiting for a few minutes for his friend to return, Dean shrugged and left for home. He tried to remember where Cas had said he was going, but he couldn’t even remember what they were talking about._

__  
  


-Year: 2021-

“Don’t you remember? You used to come back to me every few months and tell me about this horrible abomination of the human race you’d killed, and how many thousands of people you saved. Why did you stop saving people?”

Finally, Cas sighed heavily, wings shifting position as he sat down, as though he’d been overcome by a deep weariness.

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s the apocalypse. Explain.”

“What do you mean it’s the apocalypse?” Cas asked, as if he really didn’t want to know the answer.

Dean sighed heavily and joined Cas sitting down on the floor, also seemingly overcome by a deep weariness. Wow, the end of the world really runs you down.

“There’s a guy. Called Alistair. He’s hell bent on human perfection. He and a bunch of twisted scientists that call themselves the Second Gods genetically engineered some super humans, to replace everyone else. They’ve systematically killed almost the whole human population, all across the world. There are barely any survivors. The only reason me and Sam are alive was because we were visiting our dad’s when the invasion began. He managed to slow the thing down, but not before it killed our mom. He gave us time to get out. He didn’t make it,” Dean swallowed before continuing. “We ran, found a few other survivors on the way, and now we’ve set up camp in an abandoned quarry. But tomorrow, they’re coming. They’ve concentrated their forces, and discovered our location. We’ve told the others that we have a chance of beating them, but we don’t. It all ends tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

“No, it’s not ‘oh’, man. Everyone’s dead or is going to die tomorrow. Just do it man, just go back in time, kill Alistair before this all started. Like you used to.”

“I can’t Dean, I’m sorry.”

“Yes you can.”

“It’s pointless.”

“What do you mean?”

“Every time I kill one of these people, a new ‘Hitler’ turns up with an even more elaborate plot to destroy humanity.

“Who’s Hitler?”

Cas chuckled bitterly, before continuing without answering.

“I’ve given up. I’m not saving anyone anymore. Someone important obviously wants you all dead. Or maybe that’s the purpose of humanity: to destroy itself. Who am I to interfere with Mother Nature?”

Dean banged his fist on the floor in anger.

“So you’re just gonna sit here, in your little cabin, for the rest of your life, while everyone else dies? Where has your morality gone?”

“To hell, along with my naïvety. Humanity isn’t worth saving. Life isn’t worth living.”

“Of course life is worth living!” Dean said, passion lighting up his eyes.

“I see nothing to make life worth living. There’s nothing to wake up for. It’s all pointless.”

“There are things worth living for.”

“Like what?” Cas invited.

Dean hesitated, as if he was having an argument inside his head. Making a decision, he leaned forward, into Cas’ personal space, before Cas’ abrupt laugh made him stop.

“Oh no, not this again. Although sex is enjoyable, it doesn’t exactly make life worth living, Dean. It’s simply a means of procreation, and a release of dopamine chemicals in your brain. Hardly worth saving the human race over.”

Dean flinched as if he’d been hit.

“Sex? You think that... so I mean nothing to you? No, fuck, Cas, it’s not sex I’m showing you, that’s not the point! It’s a way to show you that I... It’s- never mind. You can go screw yourself Cas.”

Dean stood up, stomping out the cabin, anger and embarrassment darkening his countenance.

Cas sat there, brow furrowed as he slowly went over what Dean had just said. A bit too late, he realised. Dean was in love with him. He wasn’t saying sex made life worth living, he was saying love made life worth living. That did make a lot more sense. Then Cas realised how hurt Dean was when he left. Cas hadn’t meant to reject him so harshly, he had misunderstood. He felt the need to explain to Dean that the sex didn’t mean nothing to him. And, now that Castiel was thinking about Dean, he realised how much he cared for Dean. He realised that he could even be a little bit in love with Dean, too. But it wasn’t enough to save the world. Cas got up to leave, wanting to go tell Dean these things, but then figured that he’d give Dean a little time. He might not be too happy about seeing Cas’ face right now. He’d wait until the next morning to go, by then Dean would have cooled off. He was just going to explain.

 

*-*-*

Cas picked his way gingerly through the debris. It looked like someone had got something wrong. The genetically engineered creatures must’ve attacked in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep. Scattered around the small quarry was supplies and human limbs. It didn’t look like they put up much of a struggle. He continued walking until he saw a corpse he recognised.

Dean was lead across the ground, covered in blood from head to toe. An arm and half a leg had been ripped off, pre-mortem judging by the puddles of blood. The one remaining arm was reaching out across the ground, dead eyes staring along with it. Cas followed their gaze and saw Sam’s corpse lying a few metres away from him. There was a hole clean through his chest.

Cas couldn’t look any more. He thought he’d be okay with dead bodies by now, he’d killed enough people. But this was different. This was Dean. He felt a pain in his chest as he pictured the agony on his face, and crumpled to his knees, not caring about all the mud and blood now staining his clothes. He hadn’t felt like this since... since his parents. He realised what it must be. A broken heart, mixed with a hell of a lot of guilt. This was his doing.

He clutched at his chest as a tear rolled down his face. So perhaps he was a little bit more in love with Dean than he’d initially thought.


	2. Minutes Turn to Hours

After what could’ve been minutes or what could’ve been hours, he stood up, darkness already glowing around him.

Abruptly, he found himself in a small, dark bedroom. He turned to see a sleeping figure in a single bed. Unfeelingly, Cas took a step towards the bed, took the pillow from under Alistair’s head and smothered his face with it. For half a minute, the man struggled, before stilling completely. Job done, Cas travelled back to 2021, to find Dean.

He materialised outside a bar in Kansas. It was a Saturday night, and he stood, watching the people inside enjoy their food and company. It was the complete opposite of the apocalyptic world they’d just been in. Cas had just saved all of these people. He used to get a warm feeling about that, but he didn’t anymore. He waited until Dean and a couple of friends walked out, all laughing and joking warmly. They said their farewells and split off in different directions, Cas tailing Dean until they were out of sight of the bar.

“Dean,” he announced. The man in question swivelled round, smiling in greeting already. This man was so different than the combat edged man Cas had just seen, lying on the floor dead. The other Dean would be on guard, always ready to fight. This Dean was trusting, and didn’t even suspect an attack. Although, now he thought about it, the other Dean had also been trusting, once he had realised it was Castiel.

“Cas? You haven’t dropped by in years.”

In response, Castiel placed a hand on his forehead, connecting their minds.

He showed Dean his encounter with his alternate self, his recount of the mess the world had gotten into, the dead bodies, his brother’s corpse...

“What the fuck?” Dean shouted, reeling back, and panting from the onslaught of memories, his smile completely wiped off his face.

“That is the last time we met.”

“But... my mom, dad… Sammy!” he almost sobbed.

“Do not be sad Dean. I went back in time and stopped it from happening.”

Dean just glared at him, deciding the winged man wouldn’t understand.

“I need your help Dean. Every time I stop an evil person from killing millions, another evil person crops up, and kills even more people. You have no history of evilness and mass wars to look back and learn from. I don’t know how to solve this. It’s never ending. The human race is obviously too self destructive to survive, and I’ve already given up a number of times. The time I just showed you was the closest I got to killing everyone, but your other self got to me just in time. I can’t live with the guilt, and I can’t kill myself. _I don’t know what to do_!” he shouted the last part desperately, wings shivering with emotions.

Dean nodded as Cas spoke. He already knew Castiel was struggling with this from the last time he dropped by, years ago. He realised his friend really needed him at that moment, and maybe humanity’s fate counted on this conversation with Cas, and that completely sobered him up. He was in a completely different world from the world he’d been in with his friends just a couple of minutes ago in the bar.

“You just have to keep going, there’s no way to fix it,” he attempted. It didn’t sound very inspiring.

“I don’t have the will. I promise you, I will give up again. I see so much death and destruction and evil, I can’t handle it. Some day, I’m going to give up, and you won’t be able to convince me to save you. Not even your corpse will persuade me.”

“Then I’ll go with you.”

Silence.

The enormity of the offer hung in the air for a couple of seconds, while both men thought about it.

“But you’re so happy here,” Cas pointed out, obviously torn.

“For justice man, for good. And why should you have to do this on your own?”

“Because I’ve done bad things. You don’t want to spend eternity with me,” Castiel said darkly.

“I do,” he replied firmly. And he really did. Although this might’ve been a split second decision to save humanity, the more he thought about it, the more he realised how okay this plan was. His other self had already come to the conclusion that he was in love with Castiel and now this version was quickly coming to terms with it too. Of course he wanted to spend the rest of eternity with his angel-superhero.

Cas sighed, distressed at how adamant Dean was, but also, a tiny part of his brain was exuberant. Could this be a solution? Reluctantly Cas said okay.

Dean nodded in small triumph, and then shuffled his feet around, as they stood kind of awkwardly in the dark street. Cas just stared at him, as he shoved his hands in his pocket.

“So... what now?” Dean finally asked.

“We just need to wait for a few days or weeks for the next evil to show up. I’m sure it will be soon.”

“Okay then. Come home with me?” he half offered, half requested.

“Not tonight, Dean.”

“But... I thought you’d spent enough time alone?” he asked unsurely.

“I just need this one last night to myself,” he said, face covered in shadows.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you soon then. Um, bye,” Dean walked away, awkwardly smiling at him, leaving Cas alone, to his poisonous thoughts.

He didn’t deserve this. He was stealing a perfectly content human being from his life, and shoving him into a dark, twisted tunnel, doomed to fall forever with him. He was being completely selfish. He didn’t deserve favours, he didn’t deserve Dean to be nice to him, he didn’t deserve his love. He’d done terrible, terrible things.

 

-Year: 2008-

_Cas materialised in the house he shared with Bobby and Ellen. He was eighteen years old and covered in blood, which he’d completely forgotten as he greeted Ellen and went to hug her. She stood back horrified._

_“Why the hell are you covered in blood, young man?”_

_Cas looked down at his clothes guiltily. He hadn’t told his family about his missions to save humanity. Only Dean knew about that. He wasn’t sure how they’d take it, and he didn’t want them to worry about him. So for all this time he’d been materialising in his bathroom, and removing all evidence of the people he’d just killed in the shower. He’d forgotten where he was materialising in the heat of the moment and ended up in the dining room, where Ellen was just setting up for dinner._

_But now, he thought it was about time to confess that he’d been going back in time and stopping evil doers. Like Dean had said, when he’d started all of this, how could his parent’s be disappointed in him for being a hero and saving millions? And also, there was no way he could think of a viable excuse for all this blood._

_He got Bobby, and asked his parents to sit down while he told them all about his secret double life of justice. They were horrified._

_“Castiel Singer, you are barely an adult! How dare you go behind our backs and do this. You think it’s a good idea? No, it’s a terrible idea!” Ellen said, concern cracking her voice._

_“You ever think of the consequences, boy? We need our history and our wars, so we can learn from our mistakes! You have to stop what you’re doing now. We raised you to have as normal a life as possible. Where did we go wrong?” Bobby asked._

_“I’m serving justice! You’re both wrong! I save millions of people, I’m unstoppable!” Castiel announced a dangerous glint in his eye. He was still high on adrenaline from his recent fight with the Prince of Wallachia, or more commonly known as Vlad the Impaler. “It’s a good thing that I do this. I can kill any evil doer ever. Like, if anyone hurt you, I’d kill them before they did it.”_

_“That’s not a good thing. Killing people is wrong, you’re stooping to their levels,” Bobby yelled._

_“There’s no other way! I love you, and no one will hurt you. I’m immune to justice, because I am justice. It’s okay for me to kill people, because I’m killing guilty people.”_

_“Who gave you the right?” Ellen asked, tears forming in her eyes. Castiel was scaring her. He’d taken the morals and justice he’d been raised with since he was a baby, and twisted them beyond recognition. If only they’d known, before he’d got in the mindset that he was invincible, they could’ve helped_

_“This is my purpose,” Castiel explained. “If God won’t stop genocides, I will. I’ll be your new God. A better one.”_

_Ellen and Bobby widened their eyes. This was getting really out of hand._

_“What happened to my little boy,” Ellen asked nobody in particular, looking down at her lap sadly._

_“Your little boy grew up when he watched Ivan IV of Russia torture 300 people for enjoyment,” Cas spat, tired of this argument. He didn’t need their validation anymore. After the evils he’d seen, he knew he was doing right._

_Later that night, Cas was standing outside his parent’s bedroom door, eavesdropping._

_“We need to do something about it. We can’t just let him carry on,” Ellen said._

_“But what can we do? He said so himself, he’s unstoppable!” Bobby countered, exasperatedly._

_“We have to tell someone about his powers.”_

_“They’ll take him away for sure.”_

_“You heard him down there! He’s crazy, he’s more than we can handle. I love the boy, but he needs serious help,” Ellen said, her voice sounding sharp and erratic like she was crying._

_Bobby sighed deeply. “I love him too. I love him like my own son.”_

_Abruptly, Castiel found himself bursting into the room, wings spread threateningly._

_“_ Like _your own son!? Are you not my real parents?”_

_“Castiel,” Ellen cried._

_“Answer the question! Are you or are you not my real parents.”_

_Slowly, Bobby shook his head. “You...you were abandoned by your real mom when you were about a week old. We found you on our doorstep one morning and... well here we are today,” Bobby said quietly._

_“You lied to me,” Castiel replied equally quietly, but dangerously so. Ellen took a few steps towards him before Castiel shouted suddenly._

_“I loved you, and you’ve been lying to me this whole time?” he boomed, eyes glowing furiously. Bobby and Ellen staggered back._

_“We love you too, we love you with all our hearts Castiel!” Ellen said, trying to calm him down. She knew it was not safe having such a powerful man in such a betrayed and furious state, and she tried to diffuse the tension._

_“No, you can’t love me. I am not yours. I am an abomination, I don’t belong! Who is my real mother? What is my purpose if it isn’t to save people?” his voice caught a desperate edge._

_“You have to calm down, son. You’re crazy at the moment, but we can get you help,” Bobby reassured._

_“No, you’re untrustworthy, you want to hurt me. You were going to get me off your hands like a misbehaving dog,” he spat accusingly._

_And then, it all happened so fast._

_Ellen, not able to bear seeing her son so distraught, took a few steps closer to try and hug him. Admittedly, this was a stupid mistake, but everyone was crazy with grief._

_Castiel, thinking she was a threat, knocked her away with his powerful wing._

_Her head hit the bedside table with a dull thud, but not before Bobby launched himself at Cas, belatedly trying to stop his wife from getting hurt._

_Again the strong wing launched a victim across the room. Thud._

_The pools of blood mixed in the carpet._

_Cas waited for them to get up and start yelling at him again._

_They didn’t._

__  
  
  
  
  


_Slowly, he approached them, not accepting the fact that they could be dead. These were his parents. Okay, maybe not his real parents, but they’d raised him since he could remember. These thoughts hurt, as he felt for a pulse dillusionally on Ellen’s neck._

_But they couldn’t be dead, they’d always been there for him._

_No._

_Suddenly Cas staggered back, as if he was seeing the scene for the first time. Who did this to them he thought furiously. It took him a few seconds to realise it was his own wing that had delivered the killing blow. He hadn’t meant to, but it had happened. It was an accident. Tears started rolling down his face, hot and heavy._

_There must be another way._

_He would go back in time, stop himself. He’d take any means to stop himself. He would kill him, for killing his parents. They can’t die. They were good people._

_He calmly tried to go back to stop himself. He was unable to. There was a mental barrier, blocking his way. He tried, again and again and again._

_They were still dead on the floor._

_He had killed them._

 

-Year: 2021-

Cas wished he could kill himself. Then he wouldn’t have been able to fuck up human history so bad. He was not worthy of Dean’s company, and did not deserve to have him with him on his eternal mission to save humanity, and redeem himself. It was a punishment for Castiel and no one else. It was weak and selfish and stupid for him to come to Dean in the first place. He was about to leave, and try to never come back, so Dean could live through his own normal life, and Cas could live through his own hell, when he saw the man jogging back to him down the street. Cas frowned at him in question.

“I realised it’s a really stupid idea to leave a depressed suicidal superman with the fate of the human race in his hands alone,” he explained, catching his breath.

Cas was about to complain, when he realised there was actual sense in his words. If he left now, he’d surely give up sooner or later. But he had to get something off his chest first. “I killed Ellen and Bobby.”

Dean’s eyes widened in horror. “You what?”

Cas recounted the events of the night that he couldn’t take back, about how he killed the only family he ever had, for the silliest reason.

“Cas,” Dean began, a little lost for words. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry. I’m the one that killed them, you should be angry” Cas said coldly.

“But it was an accident. You said yourself! You can’t blame yourself for this, you were bat shit on emotions, you thought she was a threat, and you thought you could rewind time. You’d never had to deal with consequences until then. It’s terrible but dude, to be honest, I think you’ve learnt your lesson. I mean, yeah you’re a little bit guilty for accidental man slaughter maybe, but I’m sure you’ve spent more than enough time in that prison in your head. You’ve repented enough, and you obviously regret it. You’ve got to stop blaming and hating yourself for it.”

Cas looked at him doubtfully.

“Come back to my house. That’s an order.”

Once back in Dean’s small apartment, they sat on his ratty couch, and just talked. Dean caught Cas up about his life. It was kind of boring really, he worked as a mechanic, and went to the bar every weekend. He visited his mom and dad every so often, and would phone Sam most days, who was studying law at Harvard, the smart son of a bitch. While talking, Dean’s hands crept to the edge of Cas’ wing. The familiar sensation seemed to put both of them at ease.

“So how does this timey wimey crap work?” Dean asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Like, I get you killed the most evil people in history, but how come new evil people are popping up every week or so now?”

“Without a history of such violence and misery, the human race is so much more naïve. A lot of people can’t even begin to comprehend the evil behind the people I kill, so of course it’s easier for the ones that can to act on their thoughts. It also makes the psychopath think he’s the first one to come up with such an evil plot, and they want to be famous for it. It’s very messed up. I regret starting this, despite all the people I’ve saved.”

“Yeah, well it’s hard man. You have to decide who’s worth saving. But I think you’ve done the right thing. You’ve ended so much suffering. I just wish there were more time travelling super angels, so you didn’t have to carry the weight of the world all by yourself.” Cas nodded in agreement.

“And how come you keep coming back to the present? Or I don’t know if it’s the proper present, but like how do you decide to come back to this time, like not the future... ah shit, you know what I mean?” Dean asked, fumbling over the confusing concept of time travel.

“I’m just waiting for the next apocalypse. I used to try to fast forward these few days, to get straight to the bad guy, but it got confusing, and sometimes I’d be too late and they would’ve destroyed the whole world, including themselves, and I wouldn’t be able to find the monster that started it. So in the end, I decided it was more efficient to wait it out in real time. I can see the early warning signs, and it just makes the whole job easier,” Cas explained.

“Huh,” Dean replied simply.

Even after all these years, he didn’t completely understand time travel himself. He didn’t know whether there was only one present, or if all time was present, relative. If it was, he couldn’t help but feel guilty for the futureans suffering at the moment because of the next inevitable apocalypse, but how could he help them now? He also would find himself wondering if all of this changing history created alternative universes. It made sense, and if so, it means billions upon billions upon billions were suffering because of Castiel, and he’d caused far more damage that he stopped.

Dean looked over and noticed Cas recessing into himself. He saw his crystal eyes cloud over, and a deep line crease between his eyebrows as his shoulders and wings tensed. Dean scooted closer and experimentally put one arm around Cas’ shoulder, his fingers dangling down to rest against feathers. Immediately the man relaxed and leaned into the warm touch, and Dean started gently stroking his hair with his other hand. Cas sighed wearily, and seemed to stop thinking too hard for the moment.

Soon, they fell asleep on the sofa, Dean’s arm hugged protectively round the other man, and Cas’ wings covering them both. For once, Cas thought things might turn out okay, with Dean by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!


	3. Seasons Come and Go

-Year: 2029-

Lucifer was a religious nut who hated every human ever to exist. With his charm and persuasion, he developed a very massive following. They efficiently killed tens of thousands of people in the span of just one week. Dean was well adjusted to the life with Cas by now, and they’d developed a routine. Clasping onto Cas, they travelled back in time, to before Lucifer had got his claws into too many people’s brains. He was sat alone at a desk, reading under the lamplight. Dean cleared his throat, getting the man’s attention. Lucifer grabbed a knife out of his drawer before he even turned around to face Dean. Obviously he was well accustomed to assassination attempts, even now. Or maybe he was just plain paranoid. Cas rolled his eyes as Dean started fighting with Lucifer, finally stabbing the soon to be mass murderer in the chest and twisting the knife. He didn’t understand why Dean always had to fight them, when they could easily just kill them in their sleep. Dean had argued that it was a cowardly way to kill someone, and also it gave him a sense of justice to kill the evil son of a bitch in a bout of blood.

He turned away from the fresh corpse, wiping his hands on his jeans and grimacing.

“Humans are disgusting,” Cas stated, thinking of all the evil Lucifer had done.

“Humans are fucking crazy. Let’s go visit Sam.”

After travelling back to their original time period and getting cleaned up, they drove to the house Sam shared with his long-term girlfriend Jess, Cas’ wings awkwardly brushing the roof of Dean’s impala. In the alternate timeline, Sam had been brainwashed by Lucifer and was one of his right hand men. It had hurt a lot for Dean to see Sam do such evil, even if he had been brainwashed.

The door burst open, revealing his too tall little brother, with a pretty, smiling blonde girl behind him. They looked much better compared to their apocalyptic other-selves had done, covered in blood with a glint in their eyes.

Sam hugged his brother in greeting, and shook Cas’ hand, Jess giving them both a kiss on the cheek, before inviting them in for dinner. As always, delicious food accompanied pleasant chatter. While Jess was out the room, Dean leaned in closer to Sam to tell him of their latest kill, and the peril they just saved the world from. Sam looked horrified and amazed at the appropriate parts, and would thank them both for saving everyone’s asses continually.

At the end of the evening, they bid their farewells, promising to visit again soon, and drove home to Dean’s apartment.

“Sam and Jess look well,” Cas smiled softly, looking over at Dean once he’d parked his Impala.  
“Yeah, they did. You’ll never guess what Sam told me while you guys were in the kitchen,” Dean said, hardly able to keep in his excitement.

“What?”

“He’s gonna pop the question soon!” Dean beamed. He’d said many times that Jess was the perfect girl for his little brother, and was obviously overjoyed for them. This was the kind of thing they saved the world for. When Cas had been on his own, and not visiting Dean, he never really saw much of the human race. He would just sit and wait it out in a grotty motel room for the next apocalypse to happen. But now, Dean had shared his family with him, and he could revel in the simple joys of life. Dean had given him a completely new perspective.

“That’s great,” Cas smiled again. He didn’t remember smiling this much before he was with Dean like this.

On that note, Dean leaned in to kiss him. He only meant for it to be soft, just the movement of lips against each other, but Cas had other ideas, as he twisted his hands into Dean’s short hair and tried to straddle him in the small drivers seat of the impala, wings fluttering wildly. Another thing that had changed since Dean had joined Cas was his perspective on sex. That first time had been full of upset and desperation. It was not like that at all any more.

Dean laughed at Cas’ eagerness and leaned back, letting Cas caress his face and kiss every part of skin showing.

When Cas swore after hitting his knee on the clutch stick, Dean suggested they should take this somewhere more private. Reluctantly, Cas agreed.

Not being able to wait very long without touching Dean, Cas pinned Dean’s arms to the wall, and pressed his body flush against his, as soon as Dean shut the door. Dean let out a sharp breath as Cas grinded his hips once against his crotch. Cas leaned in and started kissing and nipping and sucking all over his face and neck again. Dean moaned, wanting more, trying to grind against Cas again, needing the friction, but Cas’ hips had Dean trapped. He whined into Cas’ mouth, knowing full well just how much Cas loved to hear all the desperate little noises Dean made.

With that, Cas promptly unpinned him from the wall and dragged him to the bedroom, stripping off as they went, as if he couldn’t wait a second longer, although it took Cas a while longer than Dean, as he had to drag the clothes over his massive wings to get them off.

By the time they clambered onto the double bed, they were both in their boxers. These items of clothing were quickly abandoned, as Cas straddled Dean again, the bare skin on skin sending a spark through his system. A pair of black wings encompassed the two men, giving them a kind of make shift tent. He looked down at Dean in the low light, gently stroking his face for a second, appreciating how lucky he was to be there with him. He still wasn’t sure he deserved this, but by now he’d learnt to ignore the self-hatred gnawing away at his insides, in favour of enjoying Dean’s company. And Dean’s body. With that thought, he trailed his hands down Dean’s torso, down past his navel, to his thigh. Dean swallowed heavily, and reached over to get a packet of lube from under the pillow.

Taking the packet from Dean’s hand, Cas coated his fingers with the cool substance, while kissing down Dean’s body. He got to his nipple, and licked and sucked at it until Dean was panting. While doing this, Cas’ hand stroked the sensitive skin behind Dean’s balls, causing Dean to arch off the bed.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, dragging him into a sloppy kiss, one hand cupping his cheek, and hand fumbling downwards. Cas leant back and gave a ‘not now’ gesture, and then gently began to press at Dean’s opening with his lube covered finger. Slowly, he worked in one, two, three fingers, leaving Dean gasping and panting for more. He let out a strangled moan when his fingers expertly brushed against his prostate. Cas continued touching the same sensitive spot, over and over again, till Dean couldn’t bear it.

“Fuck me Cas, fuck,” he growled between moans. Cas complied, his wings twitching too much to keep the make shift tent around them anymore.

He prepared himself, making sure to use generous amounts of lube, and then hooked Dean’s legs up round his shoulders for a better angle. He lined himself up with Dean’s ass, then began slowly inching forward until he was fully in, then he stopped. Dean let out the breath he’d been holding and whined, wanting Cas to start moving. He felt full to the brim, and he really needed Cas to do something soon or he was going to explode.

Finally, smirking evilly, Cas started moving, in and out at a steady pace. The angle was just right, and he was hitting Dean’s prostate on almost every other thrust.

“So. Fucking. Tight,” Cas purred appreciatively, punctuating each word with a downwards thrust.

All Dean could do was moan in response, unable to form a proper sentence. However he did manage to plunge his hands into Cas’ soft feathers, provoking a gasp from him. Dean used this to try get Cas to thrust even deeper into him.

With Cas’ sex voice and steady rhythm, it didn’t take long till Dean’s hand flew to his dick to stroke a few times before coming all over his hand and stomach. The clench of the muscles, and the sound of Dean’s orgasm also sent Cas over the edge, come spilling into Dean’s ass a few seconds later, and wings twitching uncontrollably in pleasure.

Cas pulled out with a wet sound, and went to lay next to Dean, both of them blissed out by their orgasms.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean finally slurred, turning to smile at him.

“Fuck,” Cas agreed, scooping Dean into another kiss.

 

-Year: 2029-

Zachariah just had one of those faces that were asking to be punched. Luckily, Dean got to do that, and more, because the son of the bitch had blown up twenty buildings, killing tens of thousands of innocent people. Materialising into a younger Zachariah’s kitchen, Dean fought him, rejoicing in every punch to his smug face. Finally, to put the evil son of a bitch to sleep, Dean stabbed him through the neck.

“Humans are disgusting,” Cas said, remembering all the families that had died in the explosions.

“Humans are fucking crazy. Let’s go visit Sam.”

Sam opened the door beaming, with two fuzzy moose antlers on his head.

Dean and Cas squinted confusedly at the felt head decorations.

“They’re supposed to be reindeer antlers. Shut up. Merry Christmas!” Sam said exuberantly.

“Merry Christmas Sammy,” Dean smiled back at his goofy brother, “is mom here yet?”

Sam nodded, letting the two of them in. Mary greeted Dean with massive hugs and kisses, as if she hadn’t only seen him a few weeks ago when the two of them had dropped by after an apocalypse. Then she gave Cas the same treatment. Although she looked kind of frail in her old age, grey hair running through the blonde, she gave really strong hugs.

Over an amazing and very filling lunch, they swapped silly stories and jokes, pulling crackers and wearing stupid hats. For once, Dean and Cas didn’t mention anything about who they’d just killed to Sam; they chose to completely forget about all that, and submerge themselves in the normal life for once. Taking their glasses of wine into the living room, they continued their story telling. They talked about Sam and Jess’ wonderful wedding, a month gone now, and teased Dean and Cas about when they’re going to get married. Dean rolled his eyes at them, Cas chuckling at Dean’s faint blush. Then they got nostalgic, talking about their childhood Christmases. After the conversation got too sombre (John had just died last year from a heart attack), Sam yelled that it was time for presents. By evening, the family were all snuggled up on the sofa or around the sofa, watching It’s A Wonderful Life.

“Oh, look at the time, I should be getting home now,” Mary said once the movie had ended.

“Okay, I’ll drive you,” Sam offered, standing up and stretching.

“And I think me and Cas’ll leave now too,” Dean added, helping Cas up from the floor.

The group shuffled towards the door, hugging and bidding farewells, and thanking each other for the presents. However once outside, Dean and Cas were alone, as the others were all still stood inside and now chuckling at them. Jess pointed to the mistletoe above their heads.

Dean rolled his eyes, then winked at Cas before leaning in and kissing him. The three family members aw-ed. But when Dean started properly making out with Cas, Sam kicked him.

“Ok, gross, get out of our house,” Sam laughed.

Sam kissed Jess good bye, and then they each left to their respective rides.

Cas and Dean sat in the car.

“This has been nice,” Cas commented. He hadn’t celebrated Christmas for so many years, and it had been heart warming.

“And we’re not done yet. Let’s hit the bar, Benny just texted me, said wants to hang out,” Dean smiled.

 

*-*-*

 

“’N’ that was how we killed Zacharius... Zachariah... Zucchini,” Dean slurred, putting down his umpteenth beer.

“That is the best story you’ve ever come up with brother,” Benny guffawed, slapping Dean on the back.

“It’s true, that bitch Zebra... Zach no it was Zach,” Cas added.

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say.”

Just then, a guy from across the room cawed loudly, and then guffawed when Cas turned round to see what was going on.

“Hey Hawk Eye, how’s it going?” the very drunk guy shouted.

“He’s not Hawk Eye, he’s super man!” Dean yelled back, probably equally drunk, leaping up from the table and running at the group. “Hawk Eye doesn’t even have fucking wings!”

Benny and Cas got up, and followed suit. They were outnumbered, but were much better at fighting. They’d never know who would win though, as they all got chucked out a minute later, and sent opposite ways. Not wanting to get arrested on Christmas night, they left it at that. Benny bid the two of them a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year, then they all walked to their own homes, too drunk to call a cab.

Once home, Cas and Dean fell onto the couch and shared some sloppy kisses, not really able to do much more.

“Y’know I love ya Cas,” Dean said, finally resting his head on Cas’ shoulder, one hand plunging into Cas’ feathers.

“’N’ I, you Dean. You get so soppy when you’re drunk,” Cas giggled, kissing the top of his head.

“Shu’p angel,” Dean retorted.

“Thank you.”

“F’what?” Dean asked sleepily.

“Givin’ me a great life, worth living. Givin’ me a normal life as much as you can. F’givin’ me everything,” Cas whispered, listening to Dean begin to gently snore.

 

-Year: 2008 (two months before he kills Bobby and Ellen)-

_A seventeen year old Cas knocked on the door._

_“Castiel, how nice to see you. Dean’s up in his room I think,” Mary welcomed the familiar face warmly._

_Thanking her, Cas ran eagerly up the stairs and burst into Dean’s room without knocking. All he saw was a blur of flushed skin and then heard a thump as Dean fell off the side of his bed._

_“Fucking knock first man, I was busy!” Dean yelled, muffled by the bedding that had followed his fall._

_“My apologies. Are you okay?” Cas replied in a gravelly voice. His voice had broken some when during the year before, and it had surprised everyone when the almost-too-deep-to-be-real voice rumbled out of the young boy._

_Dean’s violently blushing face appeared above the side of the bed._

_“Yes, I’m okay,” Dean said huffily. “Urm... I kinda need to clear up urm... can you fuck off for a moment?”_

_Cas nodded politely and left the room._

_Once it was safe to come back in, they both went to sit on the floor._

_“So what are you so excited about that you couldn’t even knock?” Dean asked, laughing awkwardly._

_“I just killed Joseph Stalin.”_

_“Shit man, that’s great! Urm, who’s Stalin, what did he do?”_

_Cas rolled his eyes. Cas remembered studying Stalin for a whole term last year with Dean for school, but he also had a simultaneous memory of studying poverty in Europe in the 1900’s. It was weird how time travel would affect his memory. He’d have lots of simultaneous memory’s, so he could remember all the monsters he’d killed, and what the world was like before he stopped them, but he also remembered  the new timeline where they’d never caused all that damage. The new timeline memory, the one that matched Dean’s, was always the brightest, so it was easy enough to tell the difference and not get confused._

_“He was the most murderous dictator in history. Not that that’s difficult, because I killed the most evil ones. He was the dictator of the Soviet Union in 1920’s and he was a monster. He made it so that under his rulings, millions of people starved to death, and then in the thirties, he purged the party of 'enemies of the people', resulting in the execution of thousands and the exile of millions to slave labour camps. It was terrible.”_

_“Oh god, well thanks for killing him dude, you did good. I swear you’ve killed almost every bad guy in history now?”_

_“Not yet. Nearly though. I have a few more people on my list, including Vlad the Impaler for instance, and then I should be done.”_

_“What are you gunna do after that?”_

_“Live as normal a life as possible I guess, after all-“ Cas was cut off by a crash and a scream heard from downstairs._

_“Mom!?” Dean yelled, already sprinting downstairs, with his friend hot on his tail, wings fluttering frantically. He stopped abruptly when he saw Mary’s broken body on the floor, Sam’s smaller body lying next to her, and some people dressed in creepy black cloaks that hid their faces, efficiently setting fire to the house._

_Dean growled as he ran at the closest hooded figure, too quick for Cas to stop him, which was annoying because they needn’t fight the intruders. All Cas had to do was go back in time and stop the people from ever breaking into the house, but Dean seemed to have lost his common sense the moment he lost his family._

_Dean got in a few good punches before another grabbed him from behind and stabbed him through the back. The teenager fell to the ground, blood spilling from his chest. Rage flooded over Cas as he watched the figures throw Dean’s body on top of his brother’s and leave the building. Cas flew down after them, deciding he needed some information before he went back in time to stop them._

_He silently followed them out the door, then attacked, dropping three of them with the beat of his powerful wings alone. The remaining members saw the massive ebony wings and legged it, trampling over John Winchester’s fresh corpse in the drive way. Cas let them go; he’d find them later. He turned in on one of the groaning body’s on the floor and grabbed the collar. The black hood fell back, revealing a girl’s face. She had short, bleached blonde hair, blood running down from it, and a small, pretty face. Cas shook her roughly._

_“Who are you? Why have you done this?” Castiel spat at her. She laughed._

_“How do you do, I’m Meg,” she replied, after coughing up some blood and smirking. The first blow that knocked her down must’ve knocked a tooth out or something. Castiel spread his wings threateningly, ready to deal another blow to force an answer out of her, before she laughed again._

_“Ok, ok, calm it angel. I’ll tell you what you want to know. This was a test. For the kid, Sam Winchester.”_

_“Clarify,” Castiel demanded._

_“Well, I’m the seer of what I guess you could call a cult. We worship a demon called Azazel. Azazel told me that he picked around three hundred special children, for us to ‘test’. This is how we choose our new leader,” Meg smiled sickly. “Sam here, as you can see, failed the test.”_

_“So what you’re saying is that you have or will slaughter three hundred families for your cult?”_

_Meg nodded._

_“And you’re the seer? You’re responsible for it all?”_

_Another nod._

_“I see.”_

_Cas grabbed her head, and searched through her memories, and found out where she would be when she was seventeen years old, before she ever started this cult._

_He went back and snapped her neck._

_Back in the present, he materialised in Dean’s room again, darkness glowing around him._

_“Hey dude, what was all that about. You were here telling me about Stalin one minute, and the next you were gone?”_

_“Yes... I just stopped a crazy cult from killing your whole family,” Cas said, not looking at Dean._

_“What the fuck? Wait, so now the people you’re killing are in the present? Did they actually kill my family? Oh fuck man, are they ok, are you ok?” Dean continued babbling anxiously, but Cas had stopped listening, as he was deep in thought._

_That was a new evil. He was almost sure that it shouldn’t have happened- not according to the natural timeline. There should have been precautions against this, checks, the police should have been aware of a growing dangerous cult. But they weren’t. There was no history of cult killings like this- Cas had made sure of that. The evil was finding new ways into the timeline-_

_The evil would never stop. He’d have to be killing them for the rest of his life. He’ll never be able to live normally. He had the fragile fate of the human race in his hands forever._

_“It must’ve been so easy for Meg to kill all those people, the human race is too naïve to even comprehend Meg’s evil, let alone try and stop it,” he murmured, stopping Dean’s rant._

_“What?”_

_“I fucked up,” Cas said, louder this time, and with that he left._

_Cas had work to do. A lot of work, a lot of evil to stop, a lot of people to inadvertantly doom._

__  
  


-Year: 2055-

Alastair was a crazed medical genius gone wrong. He’d created a plague that spread over America in just two days, killing millions. Dean and Cas travelled back in time, to before he started developing the bio-weapon of mass destruction. Cas watched as Dean battled it out with the monster, knocking Alastair’s knife to the floor and slitting his throat.

“Humans are disgusting,” Cas stated, thinking of all the corpses Alastair had been responsible for.

“Humans are fucking crazy. Let’s go visit Sam.”

They arrived at his front door, like they had so many times before. Jess opened the door, smiling and hugging the two of them in greeting.

“You’re both looking very well,” Jess commented, leading them into the living room, where Sam was sat on the sofa, “I could swear neither of you have aged a day since I first met you. What’s your secret?” Jess smiled.

“Fountain of youth,” Dean replied, smirking. “Sam, too lazy to even greet us at the door I see?”

Sam and Jess exchanged a nervous look at the comment. The older Winchester frowned.

“Um, Cas, would you join me in the kitchen? I think Sam needs to talk to Dean alone,” Jess said, joking tone completely gone.

Cas sensed the suddenly tense atmosphere, and placed a supportive hand on Dean’s shoulder, before going to the kitchen with the blonde woman, who he’d come to think of fondly as a little sister.

“What’s wrong Sammy,” Dean asked, worry twisting his tone once they were the only ones in the room.

Sam sighed heavily. “It’s true you know,” he said, earning himself a confused look from his brother. “You haven’t aged a day. What’s up with that?”

“It’s a time travelling side effect I guess. Cas stopped aging when he was around 25, I stopped aging when I joined him, so around 30...”

“I guess that makes me the older brother then,” Sam smiled sadly, looking at his hands.

“No way. I am a proud 52 year old. No wait, 53... ah I can’t remember, it’s all weird with time travel.”

Sam chuckled at Dean’s forgetfulness, marvelling at how far fetched his whole life was, compared to Sam’s. After a few moments silence, Sam finally just said it.

“I had a heart attack last month. I’ve been diagnosed with Ischemic heart disease. Just like dad.”

Dean was silent for a minute or two, and then gazed up at his brother with fear plain in his eyes. “What does that mean to me?” he growled.

“Well, basically? I’m not expected to live much longer.”

Dean nodded, a tear threatening to spill, but he held it in, and put on a strong front for his brother.

“I’m sure you’re going to make it through, you eat enough salad,” he leaned forward to hug his brother, only a little longer than their usual bro hug.

“Thanks, Dean.”

They ate their dinner; as usual it was delicious, and while Jess was out the room, Dean and Cas would tell Sam about their adventures saving the world. But the atmosphere was much more subdued. Once they bid their farewells, Dean hugging them both longer than strictly necessary, Dean and Cas left to go home to their apartment. On the short car trip home, Dean explained what Sam had told him to Cas.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I wish there was something we could do,” Cas consoled, taking and squeezing his hand supportively.

“I know. We can save the human race over and over again, defeat these evil crazy sons of bitches. But we can’t save Sammy from this,” Dean said distantly, as if he didn’t actually understand what he was saying, and hadn’t accepted it yet.

“I’m sorry,” Cas repeated, and he meant it. He knew this was going to happen, when he first started travelling with Dean. He’d have to watch everyone he’d ever loved grow old and die. But Dean hadn’t minded at the time. It was the natural order of things, everyone had to die eventually. But it was harder to say that when it was your brother dying of heart disease, at only 50 years of age, while Dean got away with possibly eternal youth. For the millionth time, Cas felt overwhelmingly guilty for ever taking Dean with him.

That night, neither of them were in the mood for sex.


	4. Time Is Our Enemy

-Year: 2057-

Dick Roman was a very successful business man. He was leader of Roman Enterprises, which owned Sucrocorp, and loads of other foody type businesses. He basically had access to the world’s fodder. It took Cas and Dean a while trying to figure out why everyone was dying, but they finally sourced poison in the food back to Roman Enterprises.

They materialised in his room, Dean finally stabbing him through the neck.

“Humans are disgusting,” Cas stated, remembering the dead bodies that had littered the streets

“Humans are fucking crazy. Let’s go visit Sam.”

The impala braked sharply. Barely bothering to park it, Dean leapt out of the car and sprinted to the flashing lights outside Sam and Jess’ home, leaving Cas in the car. The winged man did not follow. He knew that Sam’s heart condition was the most probable reason behind the ambulances, so reasoned there were only two possible events happening inside that house. Either Sam was dying, in which case, the paramedics needed all the room they could get to try and save him. Or Sam was already dead, in which case, Cas didn’t want to intrude on Dean. He remembered when his parents had died, Dean hadn’t wanted to talk about it, he mostly just wanted some alone time to grieve. Cas really, really hoped that Sam wasn’t dead. He was a good man, and a good friend.

Cas spotted Dean running back out of the house ten minutes later, and got out the car to catch the crying man in his arms.

“Cas, you’ve got to save him, go back in time and stop him from dying,” Dean sobbed into his arm, mostly to hide his face.

“Is there any way I can prevent it?” Cas said, not even daring to hope that the younger Winchester was murdered or was in an accident, or had died in some way that Cas could help. But Dean only shook his head lightly after recollecting himself, and traipsed away. From the direction Dean had left in, Cas heard a trash can being kicked to death.

Cas’ heart sank. He hadn’t really ever had to deal with the permanent death of someone close to him, not since Bobby and Ellen.  He found himself walking over to the house, and finding Jess. As soon as the woman saw him, she flung her arms around him, weeping into his coat. He held on to her tightly, whispering “I’m sorry” over and over again.

 

-Year: 2104-

Eve had started out as a scientist, working on human improvement. She illegally bonded animal DNA with human DNA to make them stronger. Once her experiments were discovered, her grant was taken away and she got kicked off her team. She did not take this very well. One month later, she was a ninja robot spider guy, in Dean’s words. She killed most of her previous science team, only leaving a few to turn into ninja robot spider guys too. With their improved strength and body armour, they were unstoppable, declaring war on anyone that got in their way.

Dean and Cas go back in time. Eve is sleeping. A few years ago, Dean had stopped bothering to fight it out. He didn’t care that it was cowardly anymore, and he didn’t get that sense of justice anymore, so they went back to Cas’ old method. Cas covered Eve’s face with the pillow until she stopped struggling.

“Humans are disgusting.”

“Humans really are disgusting,” Dean agreed.

 

-Year: 2016-

_Dean was falling asleep in front of the TV. He had Chinese takeaway boxes still resting on his lap from his dinner, and the TV was showing reruns of Doctor Sexy. Not that he had been watching them, definitely not. The quiet TV and soft snores of Dean were suddenly interrupted by someone pummelling the door. Dean awoke from his slumber, spluttering and knocking the empty boxes to the ground. He leapt up to answer the door, just to stop them banging._

_“Cas, what the hell?” he greeted his friend harshly. The man in question glared at him in response and entered the room without saying a word. Dean followed him in, closing the door with his foot. He looked carefully at the other man’s face and noticed that his eyes were red._

_“Cas, what the hell?” he asked, softer this time._

_Cas looked back at Dean, wanting to tell him everything. How the horrors of the human race were getting to him, how he wanted to give up, watch the world burn. How he hated life and just wanted it all to stop. But then he noticed the boxes scattered on the floor, the soft guitar music playing from the TV. The room he was in was small and cosy. There were a couple of pictures of Dean and his family on the wall, and a worn, probably second hand sofa in the centre of the room. It was all so homey, and normal. The complete opposite to the war ridden world he’d just saved humanity from. Then he looked into Dean’s eyes. They had not seen wars like he had. He probably couldn’t comprehend such death and destruction, without wars in history to look back on. He only heard glimpses of it from Cas recounting his adventures, and they focused on the defeating of the bad guy, not the depressing tales of living in war. Castiel couldn’t tell Dean he was contemplating giving up and leaving the world to burn. He couldn’t ruin his innocent, naïve life. So all he could say was “What’s the point?”_

_“What?”_   
_“I don’t see the point in living,” he clarified._

_“Oh. Well, there’s a lot of point in living,” Dean began, wanting to console his friend. “There’s happiness, love, friendship. All that kind of stuff.”_

_“I don’t see it, Dean. I don’t think I’ve been happy for a long time.”_

_Dean worried his lip, deliberating his next move. He needed to show Cas that there was a point in living, and fast. The only thought that came to mind, was to show him how he felt about him. Dean drove the thought away, thinking it was stupid. How could Dean’s attention make Cas see the point in life. Dean wasn’t exactly a gift of God. But the more he thought about it, the less options he had. Plus, he had been meaning to do something about his feelings towards his friend soon anyway; for quite a few years now he’d realised he didn’t just like girls. He was proud to call himself an equal-opportunity lover. It just meant more sex for him. But he’d also realised that whenever he was taking care of Little Dean, he’d be picturing dark hair, rough stubble and ebony wings..._

_Without analysing his decision anymore, Dean leaned forward and kissed Castiel. At first the man was taken by surprise, but after a few seconds started furiously kissing back._

_Cas assumed Dean was going to show him sex. A lot of people really, really liked sex, so maybe it was worth living for. Cas was doubtful of this, but he’d never actually had sex before. He’d never really had the opportunity. Whenever he ventured to a bar, people would be way too fearful of his blatant abnormality to approach him._

_Dean had been meaning to take it slow, but Cas was already poking his tongue into his mouth hungrily and sloppily, so Dean just let him. After all, this was about Cas, and about his happiness. Soon, Cas’ kisses got more erratic, and impatient, his hips rolling forward slightly.  Dean chuckled as he started mouthing at Cas’ chin, then his neck, and then finally got to his knees. Cas’ reaction was better than Dean had ever hoped for._

_Cas looked down at him, cheeks slightly flushed as Dean slipped Cas’ trousers down. He leaned forward to mouth at Cas’ erection through his boxers. He moaned in response, his long fingers finding a place in Dean’s short hair. Dean decided to stop teasing, and pulled the boxers down, then took Cas’ dick in his mouth. He could already taste the salty pre-come as he started sucking at the head of it. Cas let out another moan, as Dean cupped his ass, taking in more of his length, and hollowing his cheeks. He felt feathers flutter lightly against his hands. Unable to help himself, Cas started thrusting into Dean’s mouth. Dean looked up at him, wanting eye contact, but Cas’ eyes were firmly shut._

_He continued sucking, eyes watering when Cas’ dick hit the back of his throat. He could feel Cas getting near to the edge, so he begun humming around his length. The light vibration was almost too much for Cas, as his thrusts started to lose their steady pace, and he finally lost it when Dean swallowed around him. Hot come spilled into Dean’s mouth, him managing to keep most of it in._

_He pulled his mouth off Cas, licking off some stray dribbles, and then stood up to face Cas again. He was a bit shaky from the orgasm, and Dean mentally congratulated himself on giving Cas an awesome first time. After catching his breath, Cas smiled lightly at him._

_“Thank you, Dean. This experience has been enjoyable. I don’t think I will give up on living, just yet,” Cas said evenly, turning to leave._

_‘Wait, you can stay if you want?’ was what Dean tried to say, but instead a hoarse whisper came out, his throat sore and rough from what he’d just been doing. Cas didn’t appear to hear him, and left, closing the door behind him._

_Dean sighed, wondering if he’d just been used. He couldn’t go out the next couple of days for the bruising around his mouth._

 

-Year: 2113-

There was so much suffering. So much destruction. Even Dean and Cas were horrified at the living hell before them. Dean watched in horror, as his faith in humanity finally completely crumbled away. He turned to Cas, who wore the same expression of disgust. He nodded darkly, and Cas grabbed his hand as the dark light started glowing around them.

The destruction. It was never ending. Cas was right in the first place. Humans were meant to kill themselves. And they didn’t stop at destroying themselves, as they tried to take the rest of the planet with them. In fact, if you weighed it all up, humankind had done more bad than good. So what was the right thing for them to do? Save humans from themselves temporarily, or save humans from themselves permanently. After all, it’s better to have never lived at all than die.

Dean looked around. There were no buildings, no sidewalks, no sign of humankind at all. The two of them were stood next to a massive body of water.

“In a few seconds, what is to become the human race is going to drag itself out of this water,” Cas said.

Dean watched as a little grey creature that resembled a fish emerged.

“Huh. Big plans for that fish then,” Dean commented.

They looked at it.

_ Fin. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank-you for reading and kudosing and everything, it means a lot to me :)


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